The Least Practical Items From Oprah’s $18,000 Favorite Things List, Measured in Gwyneth Paltrows
Even in the face of tragedy, the buying of expensive crap must go on. At least, if you’re Oprah. And so, while entire towns are still closed off in New Jersey and children in Staten Island don’t have shoes, Oprah released a resurrected version of her famed Favorite Things list filled with even higher frivolity-level tchotchkes than usual. WORST TIMING EVER, OPRAH. Couldn’t you at least wait for the smoke over Breezy Point to clear?
From a $2,700 mattress to a $500 fan, Oprah’s list showcased items far beyond the reach of most consumers. We’ve picked out the most oblivious, tone-deaf bits and rated them for you on a scale of one to five Paltrows, in honor of Goop matron Gwyneth, a pioneer in out of touch rich lady recommendations.
Not gonna lie, I could see myself being passionate about coconut/peanut butter spread.
Look, guys. No matter what a girl does, no matter how she’s dressed, no matter how much she’s had to drink, it’s never, never, never, never, never okay to touch her without her consent. That doesn’t make you a man, it makes you a coward.
CPZ Peahen sighting the second!
I had a great shot lined up and then some lady let her dog run at it, so you get to see Peahen On The Move.
Srsly though, why aren’t they recapturing this bird?
Rando Foreign Dude Guy To How Not To Hit On A Lady:
“I see you are watching game. Can you explain to me rules of game? Game is stupid!”
Nothing worse than when a kid on the team you want to destroy gets carted off on a stretcher.
Liveblogging this sports bar
The sideline reporter just asked a ND player, “Was this your best game ever?”
::Slightly startled look:: “Um, no”
/”Was it close?”
::wary look:: “It was a good game.”
I am absolutely, positively sure that there are thousands of unemployed Americans who could do better sports reporting than this woman.
The Worst Idea Ever Award
Goes to me, for choosing to be lazy and cook a bag of frozen sweet potato fries instead of going to the store and buying the makings of a balanced meal. It turns out there is a limit to the amount of sweet potato fries I can stomach. That limit is pretty low.
Obama seems obsessed with wanting to lead the country in what he sees as a post-partisan era while his opponents are so partisan they have only one goal in mind—to destroy him even if they have to burn down the house to do it. Well, you may want with all your heart to save your marriage but if your philandering, uncaring, unredeemable, and narcissistic partner is determined at all costs to break up the marriage, the sooner you decide not to play the fool, the better.
Bill Moyers (via azspot)
So. Much. THIS. The “they should be able to agree with my proposals” attempts at bipartisanship that only results in right-wing policies while right wingers cry victim was cute maybe the first thousand times. New tactic time, Mr. President!
Urban Life Goal #3 realized! Saw a guy pull this beaut out of the harbor on my dinner break. Sweet!